Monday, June 25, 2007

Any day

I'm well into my 38th week of pregnancy, which means that, according to my guide Votre Grossesse, Petit is clinically considered to be all grown up and ready to meet the world.

Am I ready? I've finished all my childbirth preparation classes and I've so saturated myself with information from all sorts of books and conversations with friends and family that now I want to think about anything BUT the upcoming event. I'm happiest when I can escape into a good book. Of course, the minute anyone calls or comes around to visit the conversation turns back to the only possible subject of conversation. I fear I'm becoming that most irritating of creatures, The Mother Who Can Talk Of Nothing But Her Children.

I've taken the classes, decorated the nursery, figured out how to fold up the stroller and attach the car seat, and now I've nothing to do but wait. I'm gripped with a strange lack of motivation to do anything at all. I nap on the couch. I read. I listen to the radio and knit. But if I get to the grocery store or finish the vacuuming, I feel I've accomplished a major feat. Someone, please save me...

So, back to my question: am I ready? I can't say I feel enitrely ready, despite having checked off almost everything on my to-do list. I'm facing the scariest transition of my life, and all I can do is remind myself that I cannot ever feel completely up to the task because it's impossible. Instead, I'll do what every generation of parents has done before me: improvise. Ready or not, we'll figure it out.

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